Thanks, Paris!

Like most people generally considered sane, I was disgusted by the antics of Paris Hilton and her greedy, asinine companions. Even that stupid dog, Tinkerbell. I laughed when she bawled on her way to jail, rolled my eyes when she tried the old "I got religion" fallback. Then I just stopped watching the news for a bit, just because I'd gotten so sick of seeing her face all over what was supposed to be my nightly weather, almanac, and missing- child alerts.

Unfortunately, her name smeared the headlines of the online news, as well. That's how I found out she's no longer in her wealthy granddad's will (I've never bothered to read the stories- there's too much info in the headlines). As the AP, et al can no longer refer to her as an "heiress," she all but dropped completely out of the news media. Woohoo! Finally, some peace as the Earth returns to its rightful orbit.

It seems, however, that Hilton's disastrous catwalk through the media left more than glitter, wasted film, and stiletto heel- trampled drooling men in its wake. Suddenly, even Britney Spears is staying out of the headlines. Lindsay Lohan is a two- second mention anywhere else but the Hollywood gossip shows. Even Madonna's latest attempts to get SOME kind of attention before she shrivels up completely are easily overlooked. We still hear too much about celebrities, but there seems to have been a shift in their priorities.

I could see the collective conscientious haze hanging over Beverly Hills as the hamsters started running on the wheels of long- unused thinking mechanisms. "Uh- oh, what if everyone starts hating us because of what SHE is? What if... greedy rich people's negligent attitudes during an economic slowdown start to anger the general public? They might stop buying useless plastic garbage with our faces on it! They might -gasp- stop watching our movies! They won't LIKE us anymore!! Whatever shall we DO?!"

Someone- probably not someone famous- came up with the answer: charity. Nothing new, but make it public. Jessica Simpson is no longer flaunting her seemingly third- grade education- instead, she's opted to stick her face on a charity for kids who need dental care. Jennifer Aniston's musical chair romances have slid into the background of the ten or so charities she supports, most notably St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. The rush of celebrities adopting needy children in Africa has international law sorting out a Planet Hollywood- sized ball of red tape.

But how much of it is true good will, and how much of it is a farce? I'm willing to bet that all this "Look at me, I'm a NICE celebrity" is just another PR fad. Africa and other war- torn places still aren't having their real needs addressed (seen any celebrities swear off the diamond habit? Visit a refugee camp? Adopt an orphan with AIDS? Didn't think so). It's not always hard to tell a helpful gesture from an ego trip, if you watch what happens when the spotlight goes away.

Still, it's a much better example to set for a nation of kids nearly blinded by the glitz on a TV screen. Drawing attention to the needs of kids with cancer is a lot better than prostrating oneself for negative attention and a bath of flashbulb lights (HINT Courntney Love!). So I guess we all have Paris Hilton to thank for shattering the crystal shield of the average celebrity's exemption from the big picture. Thanks, Paris! No, please- keep your clothes on...

It might not last long, though. Mylie Cyrus' posse seems to be pretty good at getting her loads of attention without making her acknowledge one single starving Ethiopian. She's being watched- and not just by billions of starry- eyed munchkins, perverts, and advertisers. Her PR folks are setting new trends, and it's scary.

By trial and error, I've learned how to avoid most of the celebrity BS in the news, but avoiding it all is like trying not to breathe All the air in a lungfull. I know a lot of people who just avoid the news altogether. But I actually LIKE to know what's going on in the world, so mainly I stick to BBC, NPR, and some of the local stuff (unfortunately, the best local news is Fox- everything else around here is churchy). So I'll keep diligently getting the weather, but when it's not real news anymore, it gets shut off.

People need to get over celebrities, in hopes many of them will ever get over themselves.